Tag - habits

How to Motivate Children to Do Household Chores?

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you have asked your child to tidy their room or cupboard or even lend you a hand with dishwashing or washing clothes? Well, yeah. That is exactly what we are talking about.

A lot can be learned from doing household chores. Doing chores helps one learn the skills they need in their adult lives, such as preparing meals, cleaning and organising. Being involved in chores help in learning what they need to do to care for oneself, a home, and a family. It also gives an experience of relationship skills like clear communication, negotiation, cooperation, and teamwork.

When children do their chores, it stirs a feeling of responsibility within them. They might not enjoy doing the chore, they continue doing it to get the satisfaction that comes with finishing the given task. When kids help out, chores get completed sooner.

Chores should be chosen as per their age. A chore that is too easy, will be boring for them, whereas a chore that is difficult will be frustrating. You can ask them to do simple jobs like keeping back their own toys once they are done playing, or keeping their plates in the dishwasher after they have had their meal, or helping you set and clear the table.

But how can you motivate your child to get involved in chores? Here is how:

Help Till They Are Ready

Initially, when you ask your child to do a particular chore, help them with it. If you help a little by little, they will soon learn how to do that chore on their own. Once they are ready, you must allow them to do the chore on their own. This way they learn how to help others, and get the work done.

Write Chores on a Chart

Make a chore chart with tick boxes. After the completion of a task or a chore, ask your child to tick the box. Writing chores on a chart and hanging it on the fridge or a wall that your child is most likely to see repetitively, would make them get the work done as it keeps on flashing in front of their eyes.

Why Should That Chore Be Done?

If your child asks, “Why should I make my bed?”, or “Why should I put my clothes and dishes for washing?”, then you should tell them why. Tell them that a neat and clean place is a place liked by all. And no one likes to be near a place that is not clean, Dirty places attract bacteria and would make one fall sick.


Activities to Boost Your Child’s Developmental Skills

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Praising Positive Behaviour

Each time your child completes a task or a chore, praise them. When you appreciate one’s efforts, they are most likely to do more chores in order to be praised more often. A praise is like a recognition of the hard work your child is doing. So don’t forget to praise them!

Pocket Money

If you want, you can give them pocket money as a reward. But do not provide them with a daily based pocket money. Either keep it weekly or monthly. In case if they forget to do a certain chore of the day, or if they skip a chore, deduct a small amount and tell them why you did so. This way, they learn that not fulfilling a specific task could lead to deduction as well.

Punishment for Not Doing a Chore

You don’t actually have to punish them. If your child is skipping a chore or forgetting a task to be done, you can just simply deduct their playtime or TV time. You can also deduct their pocket money and tell them why are you doing so. They should be aware of their mistakes.

Ask for Their Preference

Sometimes you can even ask your child what chore would they prefer to do. If you keep on forcing your child to do something they don’t like, they either get frustrated, or they might just ignore you and not to do the chore at all. To avoid this situation, you should ask them about the chore or task they would like to do. A task that they prefer to do, will be done merrily. Else they might just end up wasting time, not getting the task done and could mess up as well. But that doesn’t mean that they get the privilege to skip out on a maximum number of chores.

Motivating a child to do household chores is a task in its own way. But doing chores together strengthens your bond, increases family time, decreases the load on one person, brings in a sense of responsibility, and keeps your surroundings clean. The biggest plus point is that your child will have a neat and clean, responsible as well as an organised adult life.

Researched and compiled by Xplorabox staff

About the Author – Raveena Nijjar

Raveena Nijjar is born and brought up in Delhi. She studied in the USA as a child. Ms Nijjar is well known as Miss Multitalented. She loves to write and can write on any given topic. Additionally, she loves to travel and is popularly known by the nickname RV. She can’t go a day without completing her diary/ journal entry.

6 Signs of a Child Being on the Path to Being Spoiled and Their Solutions – PART 2

Each parent wants to raise a child who is much appreciated and loved by everyone. No parent would ever want to raise a spoiled kid. But sometimes the parental desire to give their children the best to make their lives comfortable and secure may cause results that aren’t in line with their original parenting plan.

Child psychologists have been working on this issue since a long time. They call it the “Spoiled Child Syndrome”. This is characterized by certain patterns of a child’s behaviour. 

In this article we have written down some of the signs of this syndrome and their solution.


Activities to Boost Your Child’s Developmental Skills

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  1. The child has a low self-esteem and lacks confidence.

Have you ever wanted to show your child that they’re special and make everyone around you proud of their achievements? Would you like to be a superhero who can destroy all the obstacles in your child’s way? When the parents act this way, they deprive the child of an opportunity to build confidence in themselves, learn from their mistakes, and overcome difficulties. Spoiled children have to face the real world but when they don’t get a familiar reaction, they get confused, don’t understand how they can fix the situation, and start doubting themselves.

SOLUTION: Be a good role model. Praise your child when they do something good, but don’t overpraise them, praise their efforts. Avoid harsh criticism, focus on their strengths, encourage them to do what they like and not what you want them to like and do. Help them improve on other aspects, on the things they have potential to succeed in. Allow your child to help others. When you teach them how to do things, show and help them at first. 

2. The child wants to occupy all of your free time.

A spoiled child strongly depends on their family members. In this situation, children are the center of the family’s universe so parents become a source of happiness for them as well. It is important to pay enough attention to the children but they should also understand that their parents have their own needs and need their own space. When family life revolves around a kid’s wishes, it is a sure sign that the child is spoiled.

SOLUTION: Tell them beforehand that you need a break for a specific duration. Ask them to engage with their toys, educational activity kits like Xplorabox, books, or anything creative during this time off. If you say you need an hour break, make sure you adhere to your words because your child is following your footsteps. Therefore if you say something, you must stick to it, or else your child will procrastinate and behave the same way as well.

3. The child doesn’t recognize authority and often argues with adults.

Have your ever met parents who always protect their children and look after their interests if someone accuses their kids of doing something wrong? On the one hand, it’s a natural pattern of behaviour but if parents don’t discuss the situation with the child behind closed doors after the incident and just keep blaming teachers and other adults, the child may start feeling like they can get away with anything. They may think that they’re always right and other people are just fools who don’t know anything. Besides, the parents aren’t authority figures for a spoiled child, so there’s no chance they’ll respect anyone else.

SOLUTION: Discuss things with them. Don’t raise your voice. Talk to them in a calm and collected manner. Make them understand that you are the authority. Do not blame teachers or other adults under any circumstances. Understand why are others complaining and talk it out with your child.

4. The child doesn’t understand the value of money.

Modern marketing specialists know that there are many ways to make children believe that they need something. Advertisements affect children more negatively in comparison to adults. That is why it is important to teach them how to resist social pressure. The child should understand that money doesn’t appear out of nowhere and parents have to work hard to earn it. When parents try to protect their children from such ‘complicated’ matters, they end up raising a spoiled child who believes that their wishes are more important than that of the family budget.

Spoiled children are less likely to be financially independent and have a higher chance of ending up in debt when they grow up. They get used to the fact that all their wishes come true without any effort from their side so they take out loans to fulfill their cravings for things but don’t think in advance about how they’re going to pay off the debt.

SOLUTION: Teach your child how to save money in order to secure their future. Help your child to understand that every penny requires hard work and doesn’t just appear out of anywhere. Don’t just get them everything what they want. Make a goal or a task for them, in order to achieve what they want or what they crave for. And make sure you adhere to your commitment if they complete their task or goal.

5. The child often complains that they’re bored.

Even a 1 year old child can concentrate on one task for about 15 minutes. By the age of 3, children usually can entertain themselves. If the child doesn’t know how to deal with their boredom and is always waiting until someone shows up and becomes their personal animator, it’s another sign that they are spoiled. How are all these factors connected? For example, the more the toys a child has, the more difficult it is for them to concentrate on a game and develop their creativity.

SOLUTION: Help them to concentrate and focus by giving one game at a time. A child’s attention span is less. Help them with cognitive activities that help them increase their focus. Make them learn to do one thing at a time, to complete one task first and them move on to another. Encourage them to play games on their own or read a book when they get bored. You can even ask them to do a household chore like cleaning up their cupboard or shelf when they say they are bored.

6. The child can’t control their emotions.

We all fail to deal with our emotions sometimes but spoiled children don’t even have the chance to learn how to control themselves. They suffer from major mood swings and show the same infantile attitude even when they get older. They see every problem as drama, their good mood is overwhelming, and they can’t suppress tears or laughter. They don’t get used to controlling their temper, analyzing their behaviour, or talking about their experiences and feelings. For them, the only way to express their emotions is through vivid demonstration.

SOLUTION: Help them to deal with their emotions. They must know how to think about the problem, then analyze it, and then react to it rather than just seeing it as a drama. Meditation helps in controlling emotions and facing problems with a calm nature.

In the above mentioned six points, you learnt which all signs depicts that your child is on the path of becoming a spoiled child. We also mentioned the solution to each behaviour. Helping your child during their developmental years is very important as they grasp everything that is in front of them. The display of your behaviour, your usage of words, your reactions, your control, etc, is being watched and copied by your child. You are their role model. In order to see them as a better person, you must observe yourself as well.

Of course, what can be easier than giving advice on how to bring up other people’s kids? But sometimes it’s essential to get a second impartial opinion. 

Researched and compiled by Xplorabox staff

About the Author – Raveena Nijjar

Raveena Nijjar is born and brought up in Delhi. She studied in the USA as a child. Ms Nijjar is well known as Miss Multitalented. She loves to write and can write on any given topic. Additionally, she loves to travel and is popularly known by the nickname RV. She can’t go a day without completing her diary/ journal entry.

6 Signs of a Child Being on the Path to Being Spoiled and Their Solutions – PART 1

Each parent wants to raise a child who is much appreciated and loved by everyone. No parent would ever want to raise a spoiled kid. But sometimes the parental desire to give their children the best to make their lives comfortable and secure may cause results that aren’t in line with their original parenting plan.

Child psychologists have been working on this issue since a long time. They call it the “Spoiled Child Syndrome”. This is characterized by certain patterns of a child’s behaviour. 

In this article we have written down some of the signs of this syndrome and their solution.

  1. The child is polite with other people but they don’t say “Thank You” to you.

The child shows good manners towards and with other people but does not express gratitude to family members. It may be a sign that the child is spoiled. Sometimes children do forget to say ‘thank you’ not intentionally or because they want to hurt somebody, but just because they sincerely take everything their family does for them for granted.

Psychologists believe that such behaviour can cause problems with building interpersonal relationships in the future because parents haven’t taught the child to be grateful to those closest and dearest to them.

SOLUTION: Ask your child to say ‘thank you’ whenever they receive something. They must learn to thank others regardless of who the person is. Similarly, your child must learn and remember to say “please” and “sorry” to whomsoever it may concern, even if they are saying it to their family members. 

2. The child can’t deal with simple household chores.

Any responsible parent would help their child become independent. At the age of 3, children can pick up their toys; at 5, they can help with small chores; by 10, they can peel potatoes and help to lay out the dinner table. If all attempts to engage the child in household chores fail because the child didn’t want to or can not or is not eager to learn how to do something and parents are okay with this, then your child is on the path of becoming a spoiled child.

If the child doesn’t have responsibilities, how can they deal with adult life? In the end, parents deprive their children of essential skills and life hacks that will be useful in life.

SOLUTION: Take and give method works a long way. You should ask your child to help you with the little things they are capable of. For example, making their bed, keeping their clothes back on the shelf, keeping their shoes on the rack, putting their clothes for washing, setting up the dinner table, dusting, etc. If they refuse to do so, take something away from them. For example, cut down their play time, increase their study time, cut down their gadget time, etc.

3. The child doesn’t get along with peers and is sure that they behave in a wrong way.

When communicating to other children, a spoiled child is not aware that they can’t just receive things from others without giving something in return. The inability to take the needs of others into consideration and a lack of empathy make their peers not want to hang out with them. So the child starts to feel uncomfortable and can not explain what’s wrong and blame others because they behaved “wrong”.

If peers distance themselves from a child and children of the family’s friends try to find an excuse to skip playtime with then, it’s probably time to figure out what’s going wrong.

SOLUTION: Teach your child to share things. Ask them to give something in return when they take a toy from a fellow mate. Tell them to ask their peers before taking anything and to request if they want something and not snatch off anything.


Activities to Boost Your Child’s Developmental Skills

Please select the age group of your child

4. The child often throws tantrums when they don’t get what they want.

Parents should not diminish this obvious sign. Everyone knows this behaviour and recognizes it as a spoiled child’s behaviour. Toddlers often do not know how to express their emotions and can not deal with them. This results in getting tired easily, which is why they end up crying easily, whine, act resentful, get on the floor, and throw a tantrum. But that is fine, because they just need some help and reassurance.

If the child has reached school age but still acts like a baby, choosing the right time to burst into tears, they are certainly manipulating their parents. Remember that if after a confrontation the parents feel empty and exhausted but the child gets what they wanted and looks happy, something is definitely wrong.

SOLUTION: Try to calm down your child. Ask them to listen to you first. Tell them the reason why you denied purchasing something specific for them, explain why did you say ‘no’ to something they wanted. If you can and you do want to give them that particular thing later on then make them achieve a task in order to get that gift/ toy as a reward. For example, give them a simple task, like, if you make your bed everyday without me reminding you, I will purchase that gift; or, if you behave well with others and help me with household chores, I will get you that toy. And make sure you stick to your words, else your child will throw another tantrum.

5. The child doesn’t like activities that involve competition.

Psychologists made us believe that we should raise our children as champions and that every child should get to be rewarded as not to be traumatized. Parents should teach the child an important lesson that we all lose from time to time, so there is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should accept it with dignity.

Parents often go easy on spoiled children and don’t teach them to enjoy the competition. So when the child realizes that in real life they aren’t always the best, they prefer to refuse to participate in any competition.

SOLUTION: Help your child to understand that a competition is with oneself and not with others. One should work hard in order to be better than themselves. When in a team, they should work hard together and do their best. The games should be enjoyed, then only can it be won. If there is no fun in the competition and one treats it like a win or lose match, then their minds are affected and they take a step back. Parents should encourage to keep on working hard and enjoy what they are doing.

6. The child talks to their parents like they do their peers, and it has nothing to do with “being friends” with them.

Let’s face it. If a child is spoiled, it’s not their fault, it is their parents’. They have failed to set boundaries, make strict rules, and didn’t give any direction in life. As a result, the child does not feel parental authority. They believe that they have the same place in a family hierarchy (or even higher) as their parents so they can act in a disrespectful and presumptuous manner.

SOLUTION: Set some ground rules for your child, set boundaries, and show them the path to a better life. Make time tables for them that is easy to stick to or create planners for them to get them organized. You must show authority. Tell them what is good and bad. Deal with them in a ‘reward and punishment’ method. You need not punish them but have a system of give and take. For example, if they achieved a simple goal, reward them with a chocolate, or some extra time with their friends. If they do not listen to you or disobey you in any manner, punish them by cutting down their play time, their TV time or by increasing their study period.

In the above mentioned six points, you learnt which all signs depicts that your child is on the path of becoming a spoiled child. We also mentioned the solution to each behaviour. Helping your child during their developmental years is very important as they grasp everything that is in front of them. The display of your behaviour, your usage of words, your reactions, your control, etc, is being watched and copied by your child. You are their role model. In order to see them as a better person, you must observe yourself as well.

Of course, what can be easier than giving advice on how to bring up other people’s kids? But sometimes it’s essential to get a second impartial opinion. 

Researched and compiled by Xplorabox staff

About the Author – Raveena Nijjar

Raveena Nijjar is born and brought up in Delhi. She studied in the USA as a child. Ms Nijjar is well known as Miss Multitalented. She loves to write and can write on any given topic. Additionally, she loves to travel and is popularly known by the nickname RV. She can’t go a day without completing her diary/ journal entry.